Would It Matter
by XxSasuNaruLovexX
Summary: Now that Naruto is the village hero, he is the loneliest he's ever been. He's gained everyone's acceptance now, except the one person that has ever mattered, Sasuke. SasuNaru. Sad.
1. Chapter 1

Naruto sat on top of the Hokage monument, it was a clear, slightly windy night. The moon shined bright against his tear-glistened cheeks. He barely slept anymore, the village was quiet, and he was still wide awake. His thoughts kept him awake at night. No one knew exactly how much pain he was in, but then again, they would think he was perfectly fine now. He was the village hero, everyone loved him, and he was finally accepted. Although, the most important thing in his life was missing, Sasuke.

He punched the tree next to him with all of his might, of course, knocking it over, the trunk in shreds. "Damn it." He cursed. He stood up and began his walk home. He stared at his village, being slowly rebuilt from the destruction of Pein. He watched his village burn, and as the ashes fell from the sky, so did his dreams. Sasuke was his lesson never learned. He wouldn't give up on him. He was still fighting for his acceptance after all these years. His hope was smoldering beneath Sasuke's fire.

He shut the door behind him and sat at his kitchen table. He pulled out a pen and paper and began to write.

"_If I wasn't here tomorrow, would you care? Would you lose sleep? If you weren't so hard and hollow, maybe you would miss me. I know I'm a mess and I wanna be someone, someone that I would like better. I can never forget so don't remind me of it forever. What if I just pulled myself together? Would it matter at all? What if I just tried not to remember? Would it matter at all? All the chances that have passed me by, would it matter if I gave it one more try? Still stuck inside this sorrow, I got nothing and I'm going nowhere. Can you help me forget? Don't wanna feel like this forever..._

_Goodbye Sasuke, I can't bare this pain anymore._

_Naruto"_

Tears were falling down Naruto's cheeks, he couldn't believe this was happening. He would leave in the morning, deliver this to Sasuke personally and say his final goodbye to the only person who gave him a purpose. He packed his bag and crawled under the sheets, he stared out the window all night, until sleep finally kicked in. He awoke at 7 AM. He stood up, slipped on his clothes and walked out, his letter safely in his jacket pocket. He took the back way out of Konoha so no one would notice him leaving. It would be too hard to say goodbye to the others, he knows they would try and stop him. Naruto didn't rush, he knew where to find Sasuke. It would take a few days to get there, but this was his final decision. His tears had dried up and now he just stared emptily at the path before him. He felt more like an empty shell than a human being. He felt more human when he was being ridiculed for being a demon. This was it, his final goodbye. It's not like it would matter anyways. He took a deep breath and stepped forward into the early morning sun. It was time.

/~***~\\\\\

"He's been missing for three days Tsunade! We have no leads except knowing he's going to look for Sasuke, wherever the fuck he is!" Kiba screamed. Sakura was still crying, Tsunade's expression remained blank. "There's something you guys should know." She said, staring out the window. Sakura looked up and Kiba stood there shaking. "You remember when Naruto was hospitalized after his last encounter with Sasuke?" she asked. Sakura managed a small "uh-huh." And Tsunade sighed. "He wasn't hospitalized for injuries." She said. "What do you mean?" Kiba asked. There was a long pause. "What the fuck does that mean?!" Kiba screamed. Tsunade turned to face him and said, "Naruto was hospitalized for trying to commit suicide." A tear creeping down her face. Sakura gasped and starting hysterically crying. Kiba just plopped down in a chair with shock. "We have to find him!" Sakura screamed. "Sakura…there is no use." Tsunade said. It was quiet for a long time after that.

"I just think this is Naruto's goodbye, he didn't want to be stopped so he just left." She began to cry. Kiba said nothing, he just escorted Sakura out of her office.

The two of them sat atop the Hokage monument and wept together. "Naruto…please come home…" Sakura whispered to the wind.

/~***~\\\\\

Naruto found an area to camp out at for the evening. It would take about three more days to get to Sasuke's hideout. The last time he encountered Sasuke, he was alone, he was hoping it would be the same this time. He had the note secure in his bag, along with the photo of team 7. This journey was going to feel like an eternity. Naruto had felt so empty for so long that he was just ready for it all to end.

Nobody would miss him and he knew that. 'Village hero' he snickered at the thought. He was nothing but a monster until recently.

His thoughts drifted to Sasuke as he sat around his fire. The distance between him and Sasuke was killing him for so long. Naruto lied down on the cold ground and he prayed that something picked him up and just set him down next to Sasuke. He looked up at the sky and looked at the stars. He smiled when a shooting star went by. He closed his eyes and dreamt of Sasuke.


	2. Chapter 2

Naruto walked towards Suna, making sure to mask his chakra. He knew that Gaara would be looking for him by now, Tsunade probably sent out a message for him days ago. As soon Naruto's feet touched sand, he heard him speak. "Naruto." Gaara spoke. "That was fast." Naruto chuckled. Naruto turned to face Gaara. "Go home Naruto." Gaara said. "I have no home." Naruto spat back. Gaara held his composure. "Where are you going?" Gaara asked. "You know exactly where I'm going." Naruto said. "Why do you keep doing this to yourself?" Gaara sighed. "I'm not doing it anymore, I thought that message was clear." Naruto said. Gaara was taken aback by that, this wasn't Naruto. "What makes you think I'm going to just let you go do this?" Gaara asked, getting irritated. "Because you know I'm going to do it anyway." Naruto smirked. "This isn't funny Naruto." Gaara said through gritted teeth. "If you tell Tsunade I'm here, keep me locked away until they get here, and they take me home, I'm going to end it anyway. Seeing Sasuke is just my final goodbye, this is something I need to do." Naruto said, his eyes softening. Gaara knew at that moment that Naruto was too far gone.

Gaara lowered his head. "I'm sorry Gaara, I'm not as strong as I always appear to be." Naruto sighed. "I would know that more than anyone I suppose." Gaara said, staring at the ground. "Goodbye." Naruto smiled and continued his journey. Gaara knew there was no point in stopping him, he just stood there, defeated.

/~***~\\\\\

Only one more day until he reached Sasuke and he could already feel his presence drawing nearer. He tried to sleep, but he was anxious and couldn't stop shaking. He pushed his hair back and tried to calm down. He could already feel Sasuke's presence and it was just the reality hitting him all at once. For the first time in his life Naruto realized it was easier to run instead of trying to be so strong. Naruto felt defeated by himself. His whole way of life was to never give up, and here he was giving up. He thought about the time his friends yelled at him for not giving up.

_"Naruto, all you do is talk about Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke!" Sakura yelled. "They want to kill him, get rid of this burden and you're defending him! After all he's done to this village, to us, to you!" Kiba yelled. "Sasuke isn't a burden, he's my friend, and will be forever." Naruto said calmly. "You're obsessed, it's sickening." Ino said. "Think what you may, but I'm not going to give up on him, he's still the same Sasuke." Naruto explained. "No he's not!" Sakura screamed, tears filling her eyes. Naruto just stared at her. "Sasuke has changed you, he doesn't motivate you like when we were stupid genin, he's destroying you and you're letting him." Sakura cried. Naruto just walked away, because deep down, he knew they were right._

Tears slipped down Naruto's face, he would give up on himself before he would give up on Sasuke. Love is a cruel thing. Naruto couldn't sleep, it was a pointless effort. He got up and continued walking, the sooner he got to Sasuke, the better.

/~***~\\\\\

"I'm calling off the search." Tsunade told Sakura. "You can't!" she yelled. "Sakura, he's probably already gone…" Tsunade said. Sakura began to cry, this couldn't be happening. "I'm sending Gaara and the others from Suna to look for his body." Tsunade rubbed her eyes. "Tsunade…" Sakura whispered. Tsunade looked up from her desk. "This isn't our fault…" Sakura cried. Tsunade just listened to her. "I remember how angry I was when I had to be on a team with Naruto and how excited I was to be with Sasuke, to prove my love to him, for him to notice me. Sasuke and Naruto always had a bond, a strong bond, one not many people could see. It's now that I realize that this isn't Sasuke's fault either. Sasuke has failed to kill Naruto so many times that I've lost track, Naruto just kept fighting. Sasuke couldn't kill Naruto even if he tried. And Naruto could never give up on him, even if he tried." Sakura cried. "They need each other to thrive, and now I understand, Naruto can't bring him back, Sasuke can't kill him, this will never end, so now Naruto wants to end it. Naruto can't live without Sasuke." She whispered. Tsunade began to cry, because it was all true. They sat there in silence, grieving for the things they now realize they could never change in the first place.

/~***~\\\\\

Naruto walked the whole night, but he was more awake than ever. Sasuke's chakra was growing stronger and he was feeling his stomach turn in anticipation. He approached a tree with sword markings on them, he could tell them were Sasuke's sword. He was closer than he thought. He felt his stomach churn, something wasn't right. He approached a cliff and looked across the river. That's where Sasuke would be. He took a deep breath and then he felt it. "I've been waiting for you Naruto." The dark voice said. "Sasuke…" Naruto's voice shook.


	3. Chapter 3

Naruto turned to face Sasuke, he was perched on top of a rock, just staring at him. Naruto looked into his eyes, still dark. Naruto still heard the sound of Sasuke's voice ringing in his head. "Why are here?" Sasuke asked. Naruto just kept staring. "You're not here to bring me back, I can see it in your eyes." Sasuke said. "You're too hard to let go." Naruto said, voice shaking. "So again, why are you here?" Sasuke asked, climbing down from the rock. Naruto took a deep breath, breathing in his presence. "This has gone on for too long, dobe." Sasuke smirked. "The rope is coming apart, only hanging on by a thread." Naruto said. "Skip the cheesy metaphors idiot." Sasuke said, approaching Naruto.

Naruto dropped his back pack and kicked it to the side. "I'm not armed." Naruto said. Sasuke looked at him questionable. "Kill me." Naruto said. "A mercy killing, huh?" Sasuke laughed. "It's not funny, Sasuke." Naruto said, calm. Sasuke looked up at him, taking his chin in his hand and lifting Naruto's face to look at him. "You're pathetic." He chuckled. The words still cut deep as knives in Naruto's heart, he had to get this over with. "I'm not going to kill you, no point if you're not begging me to surrender." Sasuke laughed. Naruto felt the note he wrote safely in his pocket and pulled it out. "Just read this." Naruto pleaded. Sasuke took the note and turned around and walked away. Naruto collapsed on the ground beneath him and cried, hysterically cried, he didn't care anymore.

/~***~\\\\\

Hours later, Naruto sat on the edge of the cliff, watching the river flow beneath him. The wind blew his blonde locks and stung his cheeks, raw with tears. His breath caught in his throat when he felt Sasuke approach. Sasuke drew his sword from his side and Naruto smiled, 'This is it.' He thought to himself. Sasuke placed his weapon down on the ground and Naruto froze. Sasuke came and sat next to him.

"What do you want from me?" Sasuke asked, looking forward instead of at Naruto. Naruto did the same. "I already told you." Naruto said. "You wouldn't come all this way just for me to kill you, if you wanted to die, you could do it yourself." Sasuke spat. "You're right." Naruto smiled. Sasuke's eyes shot to Naruto. "I just had to see you one last time." Naruto smiled, finally looking at Sasuke. "But that note Naruto, what you said, what do you want from me?" Sasuke asked again. "Just look into my eyes once last time so we never forget the way we were before." Naruto said. Sasuke was taken aback by that. Sasuke looked into Naruto eyes, and he did remember. "You want to live." Sasuke said. "Not without you." Naruto chuckled. Sasuke gritted his teeth. "This is a love that I wanted to live." Naruto smiled. "What are you talking about?" Sasuke yelled. "I gave you all I've got to give Sasuke." Naruto looked at him. "What are you talking about?!" Sasuke screamed. Naruto just turned back to the water and looked down.

Sasuke got angry and pulled Naruto by the collar of his shirt. "Look at me!" Sasuke screamed. Naruto was still smiling. "Our bond is a lot stronger than you care to admit." Naruto said. Sasuke was shaking with anger. "Just answer me." Sasuke said. "I love you." Naruto said, staring into his eyes. Sasuke let him go, still staring at him. Naruto leaned in and kissed him. After a minute, Naruto pulled away. Sasuke still staring at him. "That's all I wanted, before I go." Naruto smiled. Sasuke's hands were shaking. He grabbed Naruto by the throat and clenched, Naruto was still smiling. Sasuke threw him to the side so Naruto hit the ground hard. Sasuke stood above him. Naruto looked at him, his eyes were welling with tears. "You idiot!" Sasuke screamed. "You _love_ me?!" Sasuke yelled down at him. Naruto just nodded. "How long?" Sasuke asked. "What?" Naruto was confused by that question. "How long?!" Sasuke screamed. There was a long pause before Naruto answered, "Since we were genin." Naruto whispered. "And why do you think you're in love with me?" Sasuke asked. Naruto chuckled a little bit. "Because being in love implies that I am willing to give my entirety to someone, which I have done, for so long, to you." He said.

Sasuke just stared him for a minute before picking him up off the ground by his collar. Sasuke was shaking all over with anger. "What are you going to do?" Naruto asked, calmly. Sasuke gritted his teeth and let Naruto go, embracing him suddenly. Naruto's eye went wide, he couldn't move, he couldn't believe what was happening. "You're still worth fighting for Naruto." Sasuke whispered. "You have NEVER given up!" Sasuke yelled, squeezing Naruto tighter. "It's a dangerous cycle Sasuke." Naruto said. Sasuke pulled back and looked at him. "You can't kill me and I won't give up on bringing you back, we would be doing this for the rest of our lives, and I can't live this way anymore." Naruto whispered.

Sasuke knew what he was saying was true. "Sasuke, I told you I'm in love with you and you haven't even hit me, you've been avoiding the subject." Naruto said. Sasuke looked down at the ground and sighed. He looked back at Naruto and looked into his eyes, he really did miss him. "Because I think I love you too." Sasuke said. "What?" Naruto said, shaking. "There's no other way to describe it Naruto, we're weak when it comes to each other and we can't keep living like this." Sasuke said. "Sasuke…this isn't how you would act…" Naruto said. "That's all it is Naruto, an act!" Sasuke yelled. "I've wanted this forever." Naruto smiled. "You were right about one thing Naruto." Sasuke smiled. "What's that?" Naruto asked. "Only your love can save me." Sasuke said. "What are you saying Sasuke?" Naruto asked, wide eyed. Sasuke smiled at him and cupped his face in his hand. "Let's go home." He said with a big smile.


	4. Chapter 4

Naruto sat across from Sasuke, a fire between them. Naruto couldn't stop looking at him, after all these years, they were going home. Sasuke noticed Naruto looking at him and smirked, "What dobe?" he smiled. Naruto just got up and walked over to him and embraced him. Sasuke held him tight and ran his fingers through Naruto's hair. Naruto buried his face in the nape of Sasuke's neck, breathing in his scent, making sure he was truly here. Naruto sat down next to him and leaned his head on Sasuke's shoulder. Sasuke wrapped his arm around Naruto's shoulders. "I hope I'm not dreaming this time." Naruto said. "You aren't." Sasuke whispered. "How am I supposed to know that?" Naruto asked. Sasuke turned Naruto's face to look at him. "Let's try this again…" Sasuke whispered, his voice actually shaking. He pressed his lips softly to Naruto's. Naruto felt the heat rising in his chest, his heart beating so fast he couldn't keep up.

Sasuke was feeling warmth fill him, he hadn't felt any warmth for such a long time that the feeling was foreign to him. Sudden need consumed him, he pulled away from Naruto, looking deep into his eyes, searching for the same need. Naruto's eyes were shining, the eyes that Sasuke remembered from so long ago. He suddenly pulled Naruto into his arms and kissed him harder, the years of pent up need for each other was finally being set free.

Naruto's fingers tangled in Sasuke's hair, Sasuke pressed Naruto closer to him. Sasuke felt Naruto shaking in his arms and pulled away, Naruto was crying. "Naruto, what's wrong?" Sasuke asked. "You just…you don't understand how long…" Naruto choked on his words. Sasuke wiped the tears from Naruto's eyes. "For the first time in so many years, I feel like I can breathe again." Naruto cried. Sasuke pressed his forehead to Naruto's and looked into his tear filled eyes. "Naruto, I'm here, I have you. Please stop crying." Sasuke choked out. Sasuke was finally realizing how much pain he truly caused Naruto. He wouldn't let him hurt anymore, especially by him. "Don't go…" Naruto cried into Sasuke's chest. "I'm not, never again." Sasuke whispered.

/~***~\\\\\

"Tsunade!" Shizune yelled. "What is it?" Tsunade asked. "Gaara just sent a message from Suna, they found Naruto, and he's alive!" Shizune yelled. Tears filled Tsunade's eyes, "Call Sakura, she needs to know!" she yelled. "My lady, Gaara reported that Naruto is also with Sasuke…" Shizune whispered. "What?" Tsunade asked, stunned. "They are on their way back to the village, together." She smiled. Tsunade smiled back at her.

Moments later Sakura burst through her door. "Is it true?!" she yelled. "Yes, it's true." Tsunade smiled, wiping her tears. "He's with Sasuke, they are coming back together." Tsunade smiled. "What?!" Sakura yelled. Sakura was angry, she didn't want Sasuke to come back, no one did. "You aren't mad?" Sakura asked. "I'm only happy for Naruto, because he needs him and you know that." Tsunade said, looking at her. Sakura sighed, she knew that was true, but she didn't know exactly how she would take it when Sasuke walked through that gate.

/~***~\\\\\

The gate to Konoha was in view and Naruto stopped and sighed. "Why are you nervous?" Sasuke asked. "Because I don't know how they are going to take it." Naruto said. Sasuke grabbed Naruto's hand and squeezed. Naruto looked up at him and smiled. "We have each other to help get us through it." Sasuke smiled. Naruto took a deep breath and they walked forward towards the village, hand in hand.

The walk seemed like hours, Naruto's heart was racing, Sasuke squeezed his hand even harder. Naruto closed his eyes and tried to calm down. He was afraid of his friends reactions most of all. The hurt that Sasuke had caused made them angry. When he opened his eyes, he stopped abruptly. All of his friends and even Tsunade was standing at the gate, staring, their eyes drawn to their hands. Sakura's fists were balled up and shaking. She couldn't take it anymore, she ran forward, fist raised.

Naruto caught her fist in his hand, he stood in front of Sasuke protectively. Tsunade pulled Sakura back from Naruto. There was silence for a long time. "Naruto…" Tsunade spoke softly. "I'm so glad you're okay!" she said and wrapped her arms around her. Naruto smiled and hugged her back. "I'm fine." Naruto said.

Sasuke looked at all of his old comrades and how much they have changed. Sakura was strong now, he knew she hated him now, and he didn't really care. Tsunade's eyes looked heavy, probably with worry over Naruto. Out of everyone there, Sakura was the angriest, the others looked almost sad. No one except Tsunade was happy for Naruto, which angered Sasuke.

"So …" Tsunade began. "Are you armed?" she asked. Sasuke removed his sword and dropped it on the ground. Tsunade was surprised. "I'm prepared for the worst." Sasuke said. His voice made them all shudder, it was foreign to them. Naruto went to Sasuke's side and just stared at the others. "Naruto…" Sasuke whispered. "They have every right to be angry with me." Sasuke said. "They aren't just mad at you Sasuke, they are mad at me too." Naruto said, grabbing his hand again. Sakura couldn't take it anymore, she walked away, tears filling her eyes.


End file.
